***TABLE SIXTY-NINE v69.0***
by chris


Q+A:

WHAT THE HELL?

  Well we all know the situation: you go out for a meal at the
pub/café/restaurant or whatever.  What table do you choose?  One by the window?
One out of the draught?  One strategically near the bar?  No, the correct answer
is the one with the most amusing table number, i.e 69.  All too often though,
some scoundrels have got there first, or more likely, the establishment does not
have 69 tables.
  However, dining disappointment can be averted!  There may only be one (if any)
table 69 but there are many table sixty-nines!  Thanks to the existence of non
-decimal numerical bases and this application, you can for example sit at table
23, look it up on this software, go to the bar and inform the attractive person
taking your order that you are "seated at table sixty-nine!  In base thirty
-three."  Whereupon they will swoon at your intelligence and wit and give you
their phone number, possibly.

THAT'S SO STUPID.

  That's not a question.

WHY DON'T YOU GROW UP AND GET A LIFE?

  Hey, I'm a married thirty-two year old father of one, so uh...
  Hmm, I see your point :(

SURELY ANY HUMOUR THAT CAN BE DERIVED FROM THE NUMBER 69 IS BASED ON THE FACT
THAT IT LOOKS VAGUELY LIKE A SEXUAL POSITION, WHICH IS ONLY TRUE IN BASE TEN?

  Shhh!

WHY ISN'T UNARY BASE INCLUDED?

  Yes, technically if you were seated at table
111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111 then that
would be table sixty-nine in base one.  However design contraints (read:
laziness) mean that this, frankly rather unlikely, scenario cannot be
accomodated.

DO YOU KNOW ANY OTHER AMUSING NUMBERS?

  Well 300 looks a bit like a bum pooing.  If you turn it on its side.

I TOO AM IMMATURE AND THINK THIS IS HILARIOUS.  HAVE YOU DONE ANYTHING ELSE
SIMILARLY JUVENILE?

  If you happen to have a GP32, a rather obscure South Korean handheld, then
Leghumper (http://www.toxicbreakfast.com/tb/gp32.shtml) is for you.  There are
some half-decent things among the dross at toxicbreakfast.com as well.

www.toxicbreakfast.com
TOX 015
